BIAR BETUL?!

I feel different. It's a weird feeling, something which baffled me. What? Why? How? When? Biar betul aku ni?! Can't figure it out yet. Need some time to think about the whole thing and to make sure this is real.

ARRRGHHHH!!!!

Damn!! I feel like screaming! Pagi-pagi dah dapat bad news. Damn! Damn! Merosakkan mood happy semalam betul! Damn!

THE BLOST ME

These days I don't feel like myself. These days I feel BLOST. (blur and lost)

Kenapa entah..sometimes there are so many things going through my head at once macam kena attack dengan anak panah until i didn't know which one I should focus on first. Life, family, work, future, health, friends, and not to mention household matter. There were also times when my mind went totally blank and i feel like floating. It feels like sleeping with my eyes open and it usually happened while i'm driving or walking.

Yesterday, on my way to car park after visiting Auntie Tee kat hospital, i nearly got knocked down by a car. Terpikir gak how convenient kalau kena langgar kat hospital. Semua facilities dah ada, ambulan, strecther, paramedic, nurses, doctors. Confirm tak meninggal punye. Hehe..The day before nearly banged my car into another car. Not to mention how many times I drove in opposite direction because I didn't notice the one way sign. Opps salah perkataan, bukan tak notice. I knew it's a one way road tapi disebabkan blost; i only realize i'm in the wrong side of the road bila kena hon or kena 'sound lampu' dengan keta lain. Yang tersesat, tersalah masuk jalan tu jangan citer la, kalau tempat tak pernah pegi tu satu hal, tapi ni ke tempat aku memang familiar.

Turning on the CD player to full blast and listening to Eminem shouting is not helping at all. My mind was busy in another world. Apsal ek? Not enough rest? Yes. Not enough sleep? Maybe. Stress? Ermm, possibly. Lonely? Never. I don't think this is the side effect of staying alone. In fact i love being alone, enjoying my precious time all to myself. I can't deny that i'm draining. I feel so tired, tired of thinking too much. Maybe it was also caused by my health. I was supposed to go for follow up treatment but I didn't. Too many things to do which I feel is more important than seeing the doctor. For this moment, i can only justified my behavior as pre-new year syndrome. Next year I'm going to be a year older. You have more responsibilities as you get older and more responsibilities mean more things to think of. Agaknye hard disk otak dah penuh kot, sebab tu asyik hang je. Nak kena upgrade la tu. Whatever it is, i hope my blost situation is only temporary.

TETAPLAH KAU JADI MILIKKU - RADJA

bisakah engkau ku agungkan
sesuci dan secantik sang rembulan
mampukah engkau menahan godaan
dari seribu rayu manis yg datang
jangan pernah merasa gelap
di antara sinar-sinar yg terang
jangan pernah merasa sepi
bila engkau di tengah keramaian


biarlah hitam menjadi putih
tetaplah kau jadi milikku
jangan merasa dirimu masih sendiri
tetaplah engkau di sisiku


jujur saja wahai kekasih
saat ini aku tak bisa jauh
apalagi harus melupakanmu
sedetik pun kini aku tak mampu


biarlah hitam menjadi putih
tetaplah kau jadi milikku
jangan merasa dirimu masih sendiri
tetaplah engkau di sisiku
tetaplah engkau di sisiku
tetaplah kau jadi milikku



Suka music n lirik dia..best! Reminded me of ....

LAGU HEPI

One of the local song yang boleh buat aku ceria & happy bila dengar especially bila pagi-pagi time nak pi kerja. Never fail to uplift my morning mood whenever I listen to it!! :)

KU JUGA MENCINTAIMU - SAIFUL (Malaysian Idol)


Sukarnya untuk ku melupakan
Sinar matamu yang menawan
Terbayang-bayang tiap masa
Senyumanmu menggoda
Kehangatan terasa dijiwa
Tika kau lafaz kata cinta
Nafas terhenti seketika
Seakan sukar kupercaya


Ku juga mencintai dirimu
Mengapa sukar kuluahkan
Bukan sengaja ku menahan
Bibir membeku lidah terkelu
Ku juga mencintai dirimu
Kau amat sempurna buatku
Bukan saja aku biarkan
Kan ku ucap jua padamu



Sukarnya untuk kuucapkan
Kutakut akan kehilanganmu
Akan kubuat segalanya
Untukmu kekasihku
Cuma satu yang belum terbuat
Kalimah cinta kau nantikan
Bila masa dan ketika
Tidak dapat kumenjawabnya


Semalaman ku menunggu panggilanmu
Pabila terdengar suaramu
Ku terlupa segalanya



** Ciplakz from 'Meteor Garden' soundtrack
** Original Title: Qing Fei Dei Yi - Harlem Yu

p/s: Ainie, u kata asyik lagu sedih jek, kan? Tengok, i dah letak lagu hepi..hehehe :P

SIGH!!

Nearly RM90 for a full tank of petrol?! Haiyaa!! Dulu RM70 dah boleh dapat full tank. Baru aku perasan betapa mahalnye harga minyak sekarang..


Baik naik basikal jek pi kerja macam ni...

THE LONG GOODBYE - RONAN KEATING

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
(climbin' up a hill)



This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye


Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
I turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on a carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?
(on a wing and prayer)


This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, Let's face it
All that's happening here is the long goodbye


The long goodbye
The long goodbye
This is the long goodbye

Someone please tell me why

Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Guess I'm never coming back again

LEAVE RIGHT NOW

I'm here just like I said
Though its breaking every rule
I've ever made
My racing heart is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true


So I say...
I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now


I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the low
Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm


So I say..
I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now


I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say your right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to lose you again
-Will Young-



There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go - Tennessee Williams

SPIRAL OF CONFUSION 2

I feel like i've turn into a zombie today. My mind can't think of anything else, still numb by what happened yesterday.

It wasn't supposed to start cos it's not going to be easy to stop. Aku tak patut biarkan semua bermula lagi. Tapi aku kalah dengan hati sendiri.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

Dia kata
"Kata-kata dan perbuatan mungkin boleh menipu, tapi tidak hati."

After the long talk i believe it was nothing but the truth. Aku percaya dia masih macam dulu. Tak ada yang berubah cuma keadaan.

I was supposed to be happy but I feel confused instead.

I don't feel like smiling cos i know this smile wont last.

I don't know what to think. I don't know what's wrong and what's right anymore.

No matter how strong the feelings are, it won't make any difference cos there won't be no ending to this turmoil.

Sepanjang hari aku berpikir.
The word 'SACRIFICE" keep on flashing in my mind.

"Bila hati tak pernah menipu, jalan terbaik ialah pergi jauh, jauh dari puncanya...."

As much as I want to have it, I guess I need to walk away.

After yesterday, i don't know whether I have enough courage to do it.
But I know I have to. Dunia kami dah berbeza.
I have to do it for the sake of everybody.

Some things are better left unsaid. Even if I didn't say it, doesn't mean that it's gone. It will still be there securely kept and locked in the safe corner of my heart.

"Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever."

JAUH MIMPIKU

Pernah ku simpan jauh rasa ini
Berdua jalani cerita
Kau ciptakan mimpiku
jujurku sesalkan diriku
Kau tinggalkan mimpiku
Namun ku hanya sesalkan diriku


Ku harus lepaskan mu
Melupakan senyummu
Semua tentangmu
Tentangku
Hanya harap
Jauh ku jauh mimpiku
Dengan inginku



by Peterpan



This song keep playing in my head over and over and over..boleh la pulak keluar kat radio tadi. Just exactly how I feel at the moment..

SPIRAL OF CONFUSION

Suddenly I remembered I have to return the thing.


I decided to meet Anne. Thought I'd pass it to her so there's no more business between me and Ef.


How wrong I was. When Anne told me about it, it was totally out of my plan but not knowing why, I just wanna do it. Without thinking I followed what my heart told me to.


Face your fears, that's what i keep telling myself all the way. And maybe after facing this fear of mine, i'll know whether i'm ready to forgive or not. I remembered buddy's advice, forgive and left the rest to the Almighty. Well, buddy..that's what i'm trying to do today.


I know really well the consequences. If i'm not strong enough I'm going back to the spiral of confusion. And with Ef, the possibility of me being the weakest link is quite high. But what the heck, i'm willing to take the risk. I'll never know if I don't try.


Nervous. Awkward. Indescribable feelings inside. Happy and sad. Anger and excited. Bitter and sweet. I tried to look uninterested but inside I'm fighting to ignore that the chemistry still exist. Me, the great master of disguise.At the end of the day, i know it is still there. For both of us. It has never changed. No words needed, we just knew it. It feels like how 'us' used to be. I keep forgetting and need to constantly remind myself that the situation has changed. And I know Ef is struggling to do the same too.


The anger's gone. Without realizing, i have long forgiven Ef. But the feelings remains. It was buried deep but never really cease. I have forgive, forget and accepted everything. The only thing I'm not yet ready is for us to be friends.


Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all cos I can sense that the spiral of confusion is waiting to swallow me...

LEPAS MASA LALUKU - RADJA

Mengingat dan membuka

Kisah lembaran lama

Membuatku tak bisa bicara

Ingin ku cium bumi

Tempat aku berpijak

Agar terhapus semua penyesalan

Seputih awan yang dilangit

Menghiasi angkasa

Sebening hatiku melepas

Masa laluku yang penuh hitam

Hilang, hilanglah sudah

Terkubur membisu

Jauh didasar hati ku

Lepas, lepas semua

Lepas masa lalu

Jadikan kenangan yang terindah

KEPADA YANG....

Kepada yg masih SINGLE...Cinta ibarat kupu2. Makin kau kejar, makin ia menghindar. Tapi, bila kau biarkan ia terbang, ia akan menghampirimu di saat kau tak menduga. Cinta mampu membahagiakanmu tapi sering pula ia menyakiti, tapi cinta itu hanya istimewa apabila kau berikan pada seseorang yang layak menerima.

Kepada yang ragu-ragu dengan PERNIKAHAN... Cinta bukannya mencari seseorang yang "SEMPURNA", tetapi menemukan seseorang yang mampu menjadikan dirimu sempurna.

Kepada PLAYBOY / PLAYGIRL...Jangan katakan "AKU CINTA PADAMU!" bila kau tidak benar-benar peduli. Jangan bicarakan soal perasaan bila itu tidak benar-benar ada. Jangan kau sentuh hidup seseorang bila kau hanya berniat main-main dengannya. Jangan menatap ke dalam mata seseorang bila apa yg kau lakukan hanya pembohongan. Hal paling kejam yg dilakukan ialah membuat seseorang jatuh cinta, sedangkan kau tidak berniat langsung "UNTUK MENERIMANYA" saat ia terjatuh.

Kepada yang PATAH HATI...Sakit... patah hati... bertahan selama kau menginginkannya dan akan menghiris luka sedalam kau membiarkannya. Persoalannya, bukan bagaimana kita mengatasi rasa sakit itu, tetapi adalah apa yang boleh diambil sebagai pengajaran dan hikmahnya.

Kepada yang BELUM PERNAH JATUH CINTA...Bagaimana kalau jatuh cinta? Mahu jatuh, jatuhlah! Tetapi, jangan sampai terjerumus. Biar selamba tapi stabil. Berkongsilah tetapi jangan tak adil. Cubalah untuk memahami tetapi bukan bermakna tidak boleh meminta apa-apa. Bersedialah untuk terluka dan menderita, tetapi jangan simpan semua rasa sakit jika itu yang benar-benar dialami.

Kepada yang ingin MENGUASAI...Hatimu patah melihat org yang kau cintai berbahagia dengan org lain, tetapi akan lebih sakit lagi apabila mengetahui bahawa org yang kau cintai ternyata tidak bahagia dgn mu.

Kepada yang takut MENGAKUI...Cinta menyakitkan bila anda putuskan hubungan dengan seseorang. Tetapi, lebih sakit lagi bila seseorang memutuskan hubungan dgn mu. Tetapi, cinta paling menyakitkan apabila org yang kau cintai, langsung tidak mengetahui perasaanmu terhadapnya.

Kepada yang masih bertahan MENCINTAI SESEORANG YANG TELAH PERGI...Hal menyedihkan dalam hidup ialah bila kau bertemu seseorang lalu jatuh cinta. Kemudian akhirnya menyedari bahawa dia bukanlah jodohmu dan kau telah mensia-siakan masa bertahun-tahun utk seseorang yang tidak layak. Kalau sekarang dia sudah tidak layak, 10 tahun dari sekarang pun dia tetap tak akan layak. Biarkan dia pergi dan lupakan.

HARI ITU

Akhirnya tiba gak hari tu, hari mama and ayah nak berangkat ke Tanah Suci. Sebelum ke airport we all ke surau dulu sebab ada majlis doa selamat untuk meraikan bakal haji and hajah dari taman tempat aku tinggal. Tahun ni ada 3 couple yang nak pegi. Tapi tak bestnye, bila majlis abis kebanyakan jemaah surau yang pempuan ni dok menangis la pulak. Pelik aku, bukannye kenal rapat pun and most of them baru jek first time aku kenal ari ni. Tapi diaorang punye sedih macam ngeri aku tengok. Aku yang parents nak pegi pun takde la over mcm tu. (Okla, aku memang takde perasaan, tapi kalau korang tengok style nangis tu korang pun akan pelik..confirm!) Bukan ape, aku rasa tak uncomfortable la dengan situasi menangis ni, at least doakan la diaorang selamat pergi selamat balik bukan menangis sampai buat aku rasa berat ati nak bagi parents aku pergi. Tapi biasa lah fitrah kebanyakan orang pempuan, suke menangis...

Sampai airport, urusan pendaftaran and semua yang bersangkut paut aje dah cukup buat aku semput. Konon, nak ambik time off je. Nasib baik aku apply gak cuti. Tapi takpe, untuk diaorang aku sanggup all out ari ni. Masa menunggu lebih kurang 5 jam sebelum departure rasa macam sekejap je. Bila jemaah mula nak boarding aku start rasa sayu tapi try control. (Malu seh since most of the officemates and managers were there). It's going to be more than a month before I get to see them again. Background zikir munajat buat environment lagi sayu. Aku peluk mama. Bila toleh kat adik, aku nampak dia menangis sambil sebelah tangan peluk mama and sebelah lagi dukung hariz. Bukan sikit-sikit punye tapi nangis yang bersungguh-sungguh and wife dia tengah dok kesat air mata adik. Masa tu la aku takleh handle and aku pun terjoin menangis sama. Mama jangan cerita la, time first group start boarding jek dia dah nangis. Ayah tetap cool as always. Entah berapa kali aku peluk and cium mama and ayah aku pun tak tau. Memandangkan diaorang among the last 2 groups yang akan boarding and the area dah lengang sikit, aku rasa ramai kot yang tengok drama kitaorang. Maklumla family jemaah haji lain cuma dibenarkan hantar sampai public concourse area je. Tapi sebab aku keje sini, dapatlah bawak adik, Shina and Hariz naik sampai ke departure hall. Time tu aku dah tak kira dah sapa pun nak nampak. Sedih gak, lama tu kena tinggal tapi diaorang pergi nak beribadat, so kenalah redha. Apapun aku bersyukur sebab finally tercapai gak impian diaorang nak ke Mekah..Alhamdullillah. Aku doakan diaorang selamat pergi dan selamat balik. Semoga diaorang pulang dengan haji yang mabrur..Amin!

ME AND MY THOUGHTS

Masa dalam keta tadi something pelik terlintas kat kepala aku. It was something which I have been avoiding and will not do as long as the anger is still inside. But the thought that crossed my mind on that spur of the moment was different. As if everything was forgiven and forgotten. For a while i was tempted to go for it but then my logic told me not to rush and think it over carefully. Am I really ready to do it? I don't know... Part of me still refuse to bury the hatchet . After all the toleration, the damage is too deep for me to simply forgive and forget. Maybe it was just a random thought since I was thinking about E earlier. For me, the passing thought might be a sign that it is possible. Whether it will happen or not, only time will tell and only God knows when...

THE MASTER OF DISGUISE

I hide the hurt deep down inside.



The words are spoken and the message has been communicated.

After all these years, why it's still hard for them to understand me?
I hate doing something half-heartedly, i hate hypocrisy.


I won't change because someone asked me to.

I know eventually I will but not until i'm fully ready for it.
And definitely not because of pressure from others.


I know I'm not perfect and I will never be.


Maybe i'm not good enough but I'm doing the best I can for the moment.


I'm not a saint either, but in my own ways, I tried to be a better person.


And I hate to be told what to do with my life.
I know they meant well, but don't they think that i have the right to plan my own life?
For the moment I just wanted to do it at my own pace.

Why can't they understand me?

The hurt is already there but this isn't the right time to be emotional.

Maybe one day they will understand and accept me the way I am.

But for now, i'll just ignore it. Forget it. Or just forgive them for it.

SURVIVOR'S

Beberapa minggu lepas ni memang minggu yang tak cukup tido and memenatkan. Lega rasanya bila kenduri doa selamat ari tu setel. Syukur, kenduri berjalan lancar and boleh tahan ramai gak orang datang, (tak caya cuba tengok gambar selipar kat gate sebelah depan tu..heheh). Nearly pukul 2 pagi barulah guest balik. By that time semua dah lepak & tak larat nak mengemas. Nasib baiklah guna catering servis, kalau tak alangkah sakitnya pinggang memberus pinggan mangkuk and tukang memberus tu tak lain dan tak bukan muka aku. Selamat!!

The next day lak rushing majlis berinai E kat rumah belah pengantin pempuan and esoknya majlis bersanding plak. Meriahnya side pempuan, majlis 3 ari 3 mlm mcm majlis kawin raja-raja zaman dulukala. Yang tak syoknye, ada ke rombongan pengantin lelaki kena dera berjemur tengah panas masa upacara 'tol' and silat pengantin. Ramai la pulak yang nak tunjuk 'skill panglima'. Punya la lama sampai kapten kompang pun takleh tahan. Dia yang selamatkan we all dari terus kena jemur and bawak pengantin ke pelamin. Itupun sebab team kompang dah abis lagu nak main.

Akibat dari proses penjemuran tu, on Monday aku pi kerja dengan muka yang mengelupas. Badan pulak start rasa tak best tapi nasib baik rasa tu berkurang lepas telan panadol. Takut gak tersakit, I just can’t afford to be sick at this moment. Keje tengah banyak. Tapi on the other hand urusan mama n ayah yang banyak yang tak setel lagi. Semuanya urusan yang memang memerlukan khidmat aku so ndak tak ndak terpaksa gak aku apply cuti. Anak mithali la katakan, muehehe..

Lega and berbaloi rasanya ambik cuti bila semua urusan dapat disetelkan. Tapi, problem lain pulak yang datang. Ntah ape silap yang aku makan, petang tu lepas makan nasi goreng paprik ayam, aku start rasa tak best. Memula aku buat tak tahu jek then tekak start rasa semacam pas tu mula la muntah and cirit birit. Langsung takleh bau apa-apa, mesti muntah. Semua yang aku makan or minum direject dek Encik Perut termasuk la ubat yang doktor bagi. Confirm makin kering badan aku yang dah kering ni. (Benda ni mengingatkan aku pada satu kes dulu. Happened about the same month few years back with the same symptoms.)

This food poisoning dah buat plan aku lari sikit. Dahle kena MC, tak dapat nak masuk opis then I'm worried about E's wedding reception. This week is going to be the groom's side. With this condition, macam mana nak tolong diaorang? Apa yang aku boleh buat just datang bagi support dengan tunjukkan muka walaupun tak larat nak tolong buat ape-ape. In the end niat aku tunjukkan muka tak sampai semuanya gara-gara takleh tahan dengan bau. At last diaorang soh aku tido jek kat bilik atas. Masa tu, punyelah berdoa biar aku baik before majlis E and janganlah aku tak sihat bila hari mama and ayah nak berangat. Luckily, bila tiba ari majlis aku dah sihat walafiat.

To E, Selamat Pengantin Baru. (Kawin dah sepupu aku yang sama-sama jadik geng main perang bantal masa kecik-kecik dulu..hehe) May God bless your marriage and may you happpily ever after! Amin!!

Selesai jek majlis ni, focus aku pada preparation mama and ayah pulak. Cuma ada masa dua hari sebelum mama and ayah berangkat. Tak sabar nak setelkan everything tapi at the same time i don't want the time to pass so fast......

ALHAMDULLILLAH...ALL'S WELL, ENDS WELL

It has been a pretty busy and stressful week both in office and at home. Lack of rest and sleep, lots to do.


With trainings and events to be arranged plus annual appraisal analysis and two proposal papers to prepare, I was running here and there to make sure everything were settled by Friday. Things were equally hectic at home; kenduri doa selamat for my parents' haj trip and cousin E's wedding were scheduled during the same week. Both of these events were important as I'm the only 'orang harapan' to coordinate the kenduri and considering that E's family has always been a great help during my family's functions, it only fair if i offer the same to them.

Everything went well and I was glad that the week ended with good news.

A good news which brings hope to be closer to my loved ones. Nothing confirmed yet, but i'll surely keep my fingers crossed.

The other news was really unexpected. I was stunned and didn't know how to react when i got to know about it. For me it's all due to responsibilities and doing it sincerely. Never thought they will, but it feels good to be appreciated. It just worth all the headaches, sacrifices and efforts. Whatever it is, it won't happen without the support from others.

Alhamdullilah.

I'm grateful to Him for the good things he had granted.

And of course I'm thankful to him too..thank you.

SCARS

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel


Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
Your making me insane
All I can say is


I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last dance


I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
You fix yourself


I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

HARIZ, MY FAVORITE MODEL

SAY CHEESE!!

Thanks to Riz, i finally bought a digicam! Dah lama nak beli tapi tak beli-beli jugak. Kononnya nak buat research dulu, biasalah barang mcm ni takkan nak main terjah beli jek. Lagipun, masa tu i don't really know what to look for when buying a digicam. Disebabkan tak penting sangat, so i keep putting it off sampai la ari ni. Semuanya pasal nak ambik gambar Riz. Before this asyik guna camera PDA, sampai memory PDA aku tu penuh pun bukan sebab banyak save dokumen kerja, tapi sebab dok store gambar-gambar dia jek. So far, i'm happy with this purchase. Most of the features and functions i want ada dalam this camera. For a beginner like me, kira ok la tu. Yang penting I can take lots and lots of Riz's pictures!

RADJA - RIVAL BARU PETERPAN?

Kecoh pasal Radja - kononnya dah jadi band yang paling popular kat Indonesia sekarang. Hmm..betul ke? Takkan dah ada band yang boleh mencabar band favorite aku, Peterpan? Kalau betul, maybe tak lama lagi sambutan Radja kat Malaysia pun sama kot. Oleh kerana nak mengetest kesahihannya, aku beli CD Radja. Tak dinafikan ada tracks yang best macam Jujur, Tulus and Takkan Melupakanmu; sekali dengar terus suka and ada jugak yang kena dengar few times baru terlintas "best jugak lagu ni".

Yang best about this band, their songs mostly are upbeat and energetic, ones we can wake and start our day with. Tulus, Jujur and Takkan Melupakanmu are highly recommended. Lagu-lagu lain yang best and boleh hilangkan ngantuk, cuba dengar lagu Cinderella, Butuh Waktu, Ini Aku Adanya, Tetaplah Menjadi Milikku, Lepas Masa Laluku.

Buat masa Peterpan is still my no 1 but Radja dah turunkan Padi and Dewa satu step kebawah dan menyepak keluar terus S07 dari list Favorite Indonesian Band aku. Sama ada Radja akan jadi band no 1 dalam list favorite aku,wallahuaklam. Kita tunggu dan lihat jelah...

IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME...

Arggh!! Rasa mcm baru je kena pulun dengan tsunami. Semuanya gara gara tak sengaja, kenapa la aku boleh ke situ? And kenapa la pulak dia boleh bagi message mcm tu? Dah bertahun-tahun semuanya over tapi benda-benda yang ada kaitan dengan dia still boleh menjejaskan proses homeostasis badan aku. I feel uneasy, takleh focus and beat jantung aku still laju mcm beat lagu techno bila nampak dia. Jangan kata nampak dia, dengar nama dia pun dah boleh buat aku menggelabah. Kadang-kadang aku rasa betapa tak munasahnya aku ni..Ada sekali tu, 3 mlm aku takleh tdo sebab terserempak dengan dia lepas berkurun we all tak jumpa. Tapi tu lain la, masa tu aku still tak get over dia lagi.


Cuma aku jadi confuse & uncomfortable pulak dengan kes ari ni. Pelik! I 'm sure I no longer have the same the feeling I used to feel before, but why am I still reacting this way? Kenapa eh? Takkan aku still ada ati kat dia lagi. Ish! Mungkin tidak...Agaknye aku ni tergezut + control excited kot sebab nampak dia.


Nasib baik benda ni tak jadi semalam, alamatnye tak siaple proposal paper aku tu. Tapi, kalau aku busy takkan le aku ada masa nak ke tempat 'accident' tu. Terflash back kejap cerita masa muda-muda dulu. Haha!! ;)


Anyway, bagus gak jadik macam ni, at least aku tau dia OK. Seikhlasnya aku happy bila dapat tau yang dia happy and dah berjaya dengan career dia. Aku sebenarnya patut berterima kasih gak kat dia. Disebabkan apa yang jadik between aku and dia ni, macam-macam benda yang aku kena go through and it's not something which I hope to experience again. Yang bagusnya, banyak benda positive yang aku belajar dari pengalaman tu. Bermula dari rasa taknak kalah n nak buktikan kat dia yang aku pun boleh, it has inspired me to improve myself and in the end semuanya bertukar jadi sebahagian dari diri aku. Kalau tak kerana semua tu, aku pun tak tau kat mana aku sekarang.


Untuk orang ni {walaupun aku rasa tak mungkin dia akan baca blog aku ni} - I sincerely wish you happiness in life. You're still one of the best people i've ever met. Thanks for inspiring me to be what am I today. Though we have different life's direction now, you have left a deep imprint in my heart and i know i shall never forget how much you have touched my life .

SAMPAI - KRU

Sayang..
Apa yang ku katakan
Apa yang ku rasakan
Belum pernah dialami
Demimu segala ku kurniakan
Susah ku senangkan
Apa sahaja dipenuhi
Di hati

Dan masih lagi engkau bertanya
Sejauh manakah cinta
Penjelasan ku sebenar-benarnya

Sampai
tubuh tak bernyawa
Sampai
ku ke pangkuannya
Biar jasad tak dilihat zahir
Cintaku tetapkan hadir
Andai dikurnia syurga
kan ku tunggu di luarnya
jika ditanya mengapa ?
Jawapan ku menunggu..
Kau SAMPAI dahulu..


Mudahnya sekadar bermadah
Hingga kau meragui
Keikhlasan sanubari
Sedangkan racun pun kan ku telan
Andai kau menyatakan ia madu kepadaku
Dan masih lagi kau bertanya
Sedalam manakah cinta ?

Lafaz ikrarku buat selamanya...

Katakan sayang..
bagaimanakah harus ku hidup.. ?
tanpa dirimu
Sedangkan separuhnya di jiwaku
bersamamu...

Sampai tubuh tak bernyawa
SAMPAI ku kepangkuannya
Biar jasad tak dilihat zahir..
Cintaku tetapkan hadir...

Andai dikurnia syurga..
Kan ku tunggu di luarnya
Jika ditanya mengapa
Kau sampai padaku

My current favorite track from KRU..LAYAN!!!

WOOHOO!!

Someone has just made my day & i can't stop smiling.....

KILLING THE PAST & COMING BACK TO LIFE

Apart from the usual chaos and tension at work, so far my personal life has been peaceful and calm. It's ironic because months ago I was expecting misery to wander around for some time before leaving me to move on. At times i wonder whether i'm still in denial stage or did I surpressed my feelings and refuse to acknowledge it. I was preparing myself for the worst emotional torture but luckily, it didn't turn out to be as bad as i expected. I started to feel better after few weeks of thinking and everything went back to normal soon after. People around me has indirectly helped me a lot though they might not be aware of the state of my situation as I rarely show or share my grief and sadness. They truly made me happy just by being there and I feel blessed to have these lovely people in my life.

Going through painful experience is in fact a very valuable lesson. These experience has really taught me how to cope with the downside of life with courage and optimism. There are moments when I feel as if it will kill me, but it don't and I manage to get through it. In the end, it has transformed me to be a wiser and emotionally stronger person. I do believe in the saying "life is not a matter of having good cards, but playing a poor hand well''. Accepting that there are things I cannot change make the healing process much more easier while diverting my attention and resources to the right channel had helped me find the "reasons" I have been searching for.

What happened had opened my eyes and I began look at life, especially mine differently. As I discover the "reasons", life seems more meaningful and I started to appreciate every little things i have been granted. I enjoyed my newfound peace and deep inside I feel lighter, happier and more relaxed.

No life will be easy as difficulties and troubles will exist in everyone's life. Full of highs and lows, we just don't know what will happen and where we will be in the future. I hope i will always be strong to withstand any adversities in life. I know there'll be times when i succumb to the pressure and fall apart, but i pray no matter how low my life has hit the rock bottom and how many times i've been knocked down, eventually, i will always be able to bounce back, hopefully as a better person.

THE REASON

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

a side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

-Hoobastank-

THE TRANSPORTER 2

I was looking for crime detection / thriller kind of movies to watch during my offdays when this VCD cover caught my eyes. The synopsis was quite interesting so I decided to give it a try though i'm actually expecting a slow movie filled with boring conversations. (Just like Kill Bill 2 which didn't really meet my expectations despite its publicity and Quentin Tarantino's reputation).


But The Transporter 2 proved me wrong. It's a fast-paced movie packed with actions. Full of cool shooting, fighting, and car chase scenes (plus less talk), it keep me glued to my seat throughout the movie.


This film is about an ex-special agent turned freelance transporter, Frank Martin (acted by Jason Statham) who drove a cool hi-tech car to ensure he has the speed and resources to get his package delivered. This time his 'package' is a small boy where he is assigned to be the chauffeur cum bodyguard for one of the Government Agencies Diretor's son. When the boy was kidnapped and injected with a deadly virus, he needs to save the boy, find a cure for the virus and unfoiled a secret plot against the government.


The plot is simple yet interesting. However, if you are expecting a believable plot, this is not your cup of tea.Transporter 2 is not meant to be a realistic movie. Some of the shooting and fighting scenes reminds me of the stunts you'd find in Hindi / Tamil or Jackie Chan's movies (but cooler and with more style, of course). As much as I was complaining at the unrealistic action scenes, I found myself enjoying all the stunts despite its lack of reality. I'm not a fan of Jackie's or Tamil movies but for me although The Transporter 2 are unrealistic in several accounts, they certainly are incredibly entertaining. I was a bit disappointed with the ending part though, as it wasn't as sophisticated as the rest of the movie scenes. Apart from the few last scenes, you will enjoy this movie if you just want to have fun watching. With its own unique stylishness and humor, this is a definitely worth-watching movie.

MASIH TETAP TERSENYUM

Ketika keretaku tak datang lagi

Menjemput cintaku yang telah lama mati

Seperti layaknya bintang tak bersinar

Namun aku masih tetap tersenyum

Ketika kekasihku meninggalkan aku

Ku tak tahu kemana dia telah pergi

Tak tersentuh, tak terjamah, tak kudengar lagi

Namun aku masih menikmati hidup

Ketika keretaku telah datang kembali

Membawa cintaku tertera di dasar hati

Menawarkan kepedihan di antara tawa

Namun aku masih tetap tersenyum

THE ANSWER

I've spent my quiet times analysing, reasoning, evaluating, and searching for the answer and obviously the answer was there all these while. It's me who stubbornly trying to change the impossible and refuse to admit that i'm only chasing the wind.


I've been blinded by my foolishness but luckily the reality of the situation opened my eyes. It just not worth my time to agonize myself over something fake. I'm determine to forget everything but i'm not sure I can forgive.

I'm just sorry that I have to detach myself from others as well. They should not be affected by what had happened but I have no choice, this is the only way to do it.

I'm not going to keep dwelling on the past cos there are more to life to look forward to. What's done is done, at least i've given my very best all these while and once it's over, it's over.



No regrets, no turning back. I will just move forward.

WHAT MY HOROSCOPE SAYS TODAY

Quickie
Roll the dice and see what happens. You might just like what comes up.
saspen..saspen..


Overview
A waffle is delicious when it's on a plate, but just plain annoying when it's what you're doing over a decision. Find a way to come to a decision and stick with it. There -- isn't that much better?


Romance
You're going to get a whole string of love letters from your sweet pea today. How many love letters are there anyway? The whole alphabet, my friend: 26!
Hahaha..rasa macam nak muntah! Satu love letter pun kalau boleh dapat ari ni dah kira cukup baik..i'll run naked around jb if i can get 26 love letters today!! Muahaha!! ;P

TIADA TANGIS LAGI

Entah apa ada untuk esok
Kiranya yang tinggal kini
hanya cebis-cebis kenangan
Bekas indah mimpi semalam
buat sandaran jiwa tatkala lara
Penawar rindu tatkala sunyi

Sejak detik itu
Dunia suram hilang seri
Hati sayu bersulam pilu
Duka di hati enggan pergi
Hati kecil masih bertanya
Mengapa begini cerita kita


Jenuh telah segala dicuba
Tak mampu menolak ketentuanNya
Apa lagi patut ditunggu
Jika yang berusaha hanya aku?
Sedangkan kamu hanya pasrah
Tanpa melawan terus menyerah
Pergilah..
Walau hakikat sukma tak merelakan
Namun harga diri bukan mainan



Entah bila kan datang mentari
Penyuluh kesuma kelam mati
Bisakah ada lagi ruang
Galang ganti cinta yang hilang
Mungkinkah bertemu, mungkin kekal sendiri,
adakah kan bahagia, adakah selamanya memendam rasa
Hanya tuhan yang maha mengetahui



Andai ini putusan takdir
kita tercipta bukan untuk memiliki
Hanya tersurat sedetik cuma
Berpayung dibawah rimbunan cinta
Tekadku tabah teguhkan hati
Sesungguhnya
Kembara hidup belum berakhir
kuteruskan walau sendiri
Kan kugagah senyum menghias wajah
Tawa ceria pelindung gundah


Satu yang kupinta
Sedang jalan hidupmu telah kau pilih
Relakan aku keluar selamanya
dari duniamu
Janganlah berpaling lagi,
Lupakan hasrat untuk kembali,
Usah lagi aku dicari
Bukan niat memutus ikatan
Sekadar menghormati jalan pilihan
Tak mungkin aku mampu bertahan
Tak mungkin aku mampu berdepan
Berakhir sudah sebuah sandiwara
Tiada lagi helah penutup dusta


Moga kau dapat mengerti
Lupakanlah semua
Kerna telah kulepaskan segalanya


Tiada tangis lagi...

AFTER THAT DAY

After that day, I managed to ignore everything. I'll fight every single thing that will remind me of you. But you are still never far from my thoughts. It really funny cos this is not what i planned in the beginning but look at me now. I'm feeling the pain of losing you. It feels so impossible for me to simply push you away from my life.


Whenever I think of you, I will listen to this song - 'One Last Cry'. It is a sad song but somehow it gives me strength to go through my days without you. One last cry - I know I should have done that long ago.

Anyway, life moves on with or without you. I have the options to be happy or frown all my life and I choose to live my life to the fullest even when you can't be with me. It doesn't matter whether my smile is a fake or if my happiness is not real, i'll put on my widest grin and biggest laugh just to enjoy whatever i have at the moment. If I can't make myself happy, at least i can make those around me happy.

For someone who always there for me, thank you. Your presence somehow make me smile and forget the pain exists :)

For all my friends; you guys are really great! Thanks!

FEELINGS

The anger is still inside me. Angry for being a fool and letting myself to be fooled. Anger and fear are two major feelings I have now. I live my life with fear of facing the days ahead. I don't want to be reminded of it. I juz hope it will pass without me even realizing it. Maybe i need some time to let this anger subside, when the moment comes i believe the fear will vanish together the my anger. For this moment I pray I have enough strength to let those troubling thoughts aside and enough courage to go through each day.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you
You'll never come again.


Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
Wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms.


Feelings, feelings
Like I've never lost you
And feelings like I've never
Have you again in my heart.


Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you
You'll never come again.


Feelings, feelings like I've
Never lost you
And feelings like
I've never have you
Again in my heart.


Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you
You'll never come again.
Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
Wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms.
Feelings...

THE BLAMERS AROUND US

There are people who enjoys blaming others for their own troubles.

I'm sure everybody got personal experience with people like that -- people who hold everybody else in the organization at fault -- but never themselves.

If the project's late, "it's Jim's fault" -- even though Jim was always on time and on top of things.

If the shipment didn't get out -- well, "It's the receptionist's fault. Heavens, I got it there by 3:59, and FedEx picks up until 4."

It's a problem that's common to three-year-olds -- children will even invent imaginary people just to take the blame for them -- but just as the parents can figure out the truth when a three-year-old doesn't take the blame, so can everybody else in the office.

Yes, it's true -- the blamers and slackers are never putting it over on anyone but themselves.In an organization, blamers can tear the organization apart. They spread unhealthy environment and even infecting other employees' morale with their attitude.

These people who refuse to take the responsibility for what they do often let it go to an extreme.

I remember a childhood acquaintance that, after breaking wind, always recited the ditty "First fault's finder smells his own hinder." It was her way of refusing to take the blame for her odor, and as the years went on, she was always expecting other people to take responsibility for her actions in other ways as well.

Another person I knew built up an entire fantasy life story for herself. She didn't like the way reality had gone, so she built up a synthetic reality to take its place. Did she ever take responsibility for her own actions? Not a chance -- she always blamed other people, life, or "bad luck."

Take a chance to evaluate your conduct in this area. Are you forever making excuses? Do you work to actively place the blame where it doesn't belong? Do you shove your own mistakes off on someone else? Do you lie to cover up your own inadequacies? Do you choose to let other people suffer so you don't have to?

If you fall into the bad side of this equation, now is the time to fix your troubles. You've likely burned a lot of bridges in the past, but it's not too late to turn from your path of self-destruction and start to take the responsibility for yourself.

If you're a "blamer," then put it behind you. You're not only harming yourself but those around you as well.

GOODBYE WANG NIT!

Aku kehilangan lagi.


Kali ni Wang Nit pulak. Aku ingatkan dia demam biasa tapi tak sangka serius. Tak sempat nak bawak dia pi klinik. Mama kata petang tadi dia takde kat tempat biasa. Puas cari tapi tak jumpa sedangkan sebelum tu dia dah memang tak larat nak bangun. Balik keje tadi aku cuba cari dia lagi, mama yang jumpa dia kat luar. Aku ingat dia tidur tapi rupanya dia tidur untuk selama-lamanya. Betul la kata orang, kucing yang tahu dia nak mati akan keluar dari kawasan rumah sebab tak nak tuan dia sedih.


Part yang paling sedih bila ayah tanam dia. Tapi sesedih2 aku pun, aku rasa mama & ayah lagi sedih sebab diaorang yang selalu spend time dengan Nit. Aku memang doa sesangat mama tak nangis, takut efek sayu kat aku nanti. Dahle ati aku memang tengah sedih pun..


Aku kehilangan lagi..

Sapa lagi nak dengar aku mengarut, main kejar-kejar dengan aku, teman aku layan blues kat kolam, lepak-lepak tengok tv, teman aku basuh memalam..i'm gonna miss you Nit! May you rest in peace...

CAN'T CRY HARD ENUFF

I'm gonna live my life
like every day is the last
without a simple goodbye
it all goes by so fast


and now that you're gone
I can't cry heard enough
I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now


gonna open my eyes
and see for the first time
I've let go of you like
a child letting go of his kite


There it goes up in the sky
there it goes beyond the clouds
for no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough

for you to hear me now


gonna look back in vain
and see you standing there
when all that remains
is just an empty chair


and now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough,
I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now


There it goes,
up in the sky
there it goes beyond the clouds
for no reason why
I can't cry hard enough,
no I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now

THE EXTREME WEEKEND..(CEWAH!)

Last weekend bole kata minggu yang best gak la. Start dgn petang jumaat ada inter department bowling tournament untuk staff company aku. Department aku menang ladies category. Okey la, puas ati sebab seronok. Adik lak balik bawak Riz, yes la..lagi meriah weekend ni. Makin cute dia, geram seh!..



Ari ahad aini paksa aku gi wall climbing. lenguh tangan n lutut disebabkan bowling pun tak ilang lagi, dah kena jadik spiderman pulak. Tak padan kecik budak ni. Anyway, first experience buat wall climbing ni best gak. Sayang aku tak bawak camera, kalau tak sure korang boleh tengok gaya ala-ala spiderwoman aini. Aku? Aku lak style orang minyak nak panjat umah orang + tarzan kot? Hehe..




Malam tu aini paksa aku lagi. Kali ni makan sushi pulak. So makan le we all kat sushi king. Not bad, kenyang gak walaupun 4 ketul sushi jek aku telan. Kenyang2 pun, lepas ronda PC Fair kt CS we all singgah kat kedai mamak before antar aini balik untuk supper. Ish! camnela nak kurus badan aku...


Anyway, I really had a great weekend. Kalau kena pi panjat lagi pun sure tak serik punye..this time, kalau jen ada mesti best, bole aku geng dengan aini gelakkan jen n "uhuk uhuk" nye..

OVERCOMING THE PAIN OF BROKEN HEART

Jumpa artikel ni masa browse semalam, macam menarik. So korang-korang yang sudah, sedang & masih 'patah hati', bacalah artikel ni. Dinasihatkan mereka mereka yang sedang bercinta pun baca gak, in case la berlaku benda gini..korang dah prepare..


If you feel like your heart has broken, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences the type of grief we call heartbreak at one time or another - and some people seem to have their hearts broken many times throughout their lives. Sometimes it feels like all those songs about broken hearts were written just for you and your situation!


Lots of things can cause heartbreak. Some people experience the pain of a romantic relationship that ends before they're ready. Others love someone who doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe a person feels heartbreak when a close friend moves out of their life. Although the causes may be different, the feeling of loss is the same - whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness.


Although poets have written about the pain of heartbreak for thousands of years, when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same. If you're recovering from a broken heart, there are things you can do to lessen the pain. Here are some tips that might help:


Share your feelings.
Some people find that sharing their feelings with someone they trust - someone who recognizes what they're going through - helps them feel better. That could mean talking over all the things you feel, even having a good cry on the shoulder of a comforting friend or family member. Others find they heal better if they hang out and do the things they normally enjoy, like seeing a movie or going to a concert, to take their minds off the hurt. Sometimes people who mean well but don't understand the depths of your hurt may try to cheer you up with statements like "you'll get over it" or "you'll meet someone else." These people are probably trying to help in the only way they know. But if you feel like someone can't relate to what you're going through or is dismissive of your feelings, find someone more sympathetic to talk to.


Take good care of yourself.
A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken, too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost.


Remember what's good about you.
Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to help you remember what's good about you.


Keep yourself busy.
Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened - working things through in our minds is all part of the healing process - it just means you should focus on other things, too.


Give yourself time.
It takes time for sadness to go away. Almost everyone thinks they won't feel normal again, but the human spirit is amazing - and the heartbreak almost always heals after a while. But how long will that take? That depends on what caused your heartbroken feeling, how you deal with loss, and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things. Mending a broken heart can take a couple of days to many weeks - and sometimes even months.


Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People who drink, do drugs, or cut themselves to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. The person isn't really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness.


Sometimes the sadness is so deep - or lasts so long - that a person may need some extra support to deal with a broken heart. For someone who is not starting to feel better after a few weeks or who continues to feel depressed, talking to a counselor or therapist can be very helpful.


So be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin..

ONE LAST CRY

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry



One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry



I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry



One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....


I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry


One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

Apsal tah tadi masa terbrowse kat column 'love match', tindakan refleks aku ialah mengetest compatibility aku dengan dia..pastu baru teringat betapa buang karen and bodonya aku buat benda ni sume..Aiseh!!

ONLY ONE

Broken, this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all about
But I can't, I can't give you a reason


I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you, so you know


Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one


Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone


And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know


Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one


Here I go, so dishonestly
Leave a note, for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone


Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I'd let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only,
my only one

*yellowcard*