Suddenly I remembered I have to return the thing.
I decided to meet Anne. Thought I'd pass it to her so there's no more business between me and Ef.
How wrong I was. When Anne told me about it, it was totally out of my plan but not knowing why, I just wanna do it. Without thinking I followed what my heart told me to.
Face your fears, that's what i keep telling myself all the way. And maybe after facing this fear of mine, i'll know whether i'm ready to forgive or not. I remembered buddy's advice, forgive and left the rest to the Almighty. Well, buddy..that's what i'm trying to do today.
I know really well the consequences. If i'm not strong enough I'm going back to the spiral of confusion. And with Ef, the possibility of me being the weakest link is quite high. But what the heck, i'm willing to take the risk. I'll never know if I don't try.
Nervous. Awkward. Indescribable feelings inside. Happy and sad. Anger and excited. Bitter and sweet. I tried to look uninterested but inside I'm fighting to ignore that the chemistry still exist. Me, the great master of disguise.At the end of the day, i know it is still there. For both of us. It has never changed. No words needed, we just knew it. It feels like how 'us' used to be. I keep forgetting and need to constantly remind myself that the situation has changed. And I know Ef is struggling to do the same too.
The anger's gone. Without realizing, i have long forgiven Ef. But the feelings remains. It was buried deep but never really cease. I have forgive, forget and accepted everything. The only thing I'm not yet ready is for us to be friends.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all cos I can sense that the spiral of confusion is waiting to swallow me...
I decided to meet Anne. Thought I'd pass it to her so there's no more business between me and Ef.
How wrong I was. When Anne told me about it, it was totally out of my plan but not knowing why, I just wanna do it. Without thinking I followed what my heart told me to.
Face your fears, that's what i keep telling myself all the way. And maybe after facing this fear of mine, i'll know whether i'm ready to forgive or not. I remembered buddy's advice, forgive and left the rest to the Almighty. Well, buddy..that's what i'm trying to do today.
I know really well the consequences. If i'm not strong enough I'm going back to the spiral of confusion. And with Ef, the possibility of me being the weakest link is quite high. But what the heck, i'm willing to take the risk. I'll never know if I don't try.
Nervous. Awkward. Indescribable feelings inside. Happy and sad. Anger and excited. Bitter and sweet. I tried to look uninterested but inside I'm fighting to ignore that the chemistry still exist. Me, the great master of disguise.At the end of the day, i know it is still there. For both of us. It has never changed. No words needed, we just knew it. It feels like how 'us' used to be. I keep forgetting and need to constantly remind myself that the situation has changed. And I know Ef is struggling to do the same too.
The anger's gone. Without realizing, i have long forgiven Ef. But the feelings remains. It was buried deep but never really cease. I have forgive, forget and accepted everything. The only thing I'm not yet ready is for us to be friends.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all cos I can sense that the spiral of confusion is waiting to swallow me...
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