YOU DON'T KNOW ME

You give your hand to me And then you say, "Hello." And I can hardly speak, My heart is beating so. And anyone can tell You think you know me well. But you don't know me. No you don't know the one Who dreams of you at night; And longs to kiss your lips And longs to hold you tight. I'm just a friend. That's all I've ever been. Cause you don't know me. For I never knew the art of making love, Though my heart aches with love for you. Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by. A chance that you might love me too. You give your hand to me, And then you say, "Goodbye." I watched you walk away, Beside the lucky guy. You'll never ever know The one who loved you so. Well, you don't know me...

BY 2

I've tried running away. Not once, not twice. I've lost count of how many times. But I came back. With always the same conclusion. Realizing the truth. The truth that I've fought millions of times to deny. And it's too painful for me to swallow.

I have no choice. I knew it. It's either I accept it or I don't. To succumb to this plight is never easy. Besides, I'm not the kind of person who give in easily. I don't know how am I supposed to react. Am I supposed to be happy for you finally find your happiness? Do I have the right to be angry? Should I put the blame on you? Or should I blame our cruel fate instead? Or are we supposed to be blamed for having this deepest feeling which make it harder to for us to accept destiny?

All these while we refuse to let reality ruin our fantasy. But the illusion we created together has come to an end. The time is finally here. It's time for me to leave everything behind and walk away. Forget that we ever met. That's what I should do. That's what I repeatedly tell myself when sensiblity rules me. I tried to do just that but I failed. The fact is, you are still there. In my heart. In my mind. In each and every part of me. But for your sake, I'm willing to sacrifice. I'll push aside the pain, pretending it isn't exist. I'll wear a happy mask because I know that's what you want to see eventhough in reality i'm bleeding inside. I have no choice. I knew it.

Anyway, whatever it is, i can't stop you from going away. You will still go leaving me alone in my world. Either I chose to be happy for you or to be angry with you for leaving me, one truth will never change, my feelings, my heart will still be the same, it is still yours.

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by

You don't have to ask me and I need not reply

Every moment of my life from now until I die

I will think or dream of you and fail to understand

How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide

No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide

You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied

Is it written in the stars

Are we paying for some crime

Is that all that we are good for

Just a stretch of mortal time

Is this God's experiment

In which we have no say

In which we're given paradise

But only for a day

HOLIDAY BLUES

Esok raya....





The office is nearly empty now except for the usual 'homeless' face..it's only me, Cikoo and Tina. Even one of the Managers pun sound tadi..'aiks, esok kan raya.. apa yang korang buat kat sini lagi?" Rasa macam nak jawab,"Buat kerje la Mr. XYZ...takkan la rebus ketupat pulak" tapi nasib baik mulut ni ada insurans..





Dah tua-tua macam ni, hari raya macam dah tak fun lagi. I'm not sure about the rest but for me, i'm happy whenever i'm in the office. That's why i hate long weekend like this...





I HaTe HoLidAyS!!

CORPORATE BUZZ WORDS

Blamestorming:

Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.





Body Nazis:

Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.





Seagull Manager:

A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.





Chainsaw Consultant:

An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.





Cube Farm:

An office filled with cubicles.





Idea Hamsters:

People who always seem to have their idea generators running.





Mouse Potato:

The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.





Prairie Dogging:

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.





SITCOMs:

What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.





Squirt the Bird:

To transmit a signal to a satellite.





Starter Marriage:

A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.





Stress Puppy:

A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.





Swiped Out:

An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.





Tourists:

People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."





Treeware:

Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.





Xerox Subsidy:

Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.





Alpha Geek:

The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.





Assmosis:

The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.





Chips and Salsa:

Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa."





Flight Risk:

Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.





GOOD job:

A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.





Irritainment:

Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.





Percussive Maintenance:

The fine art of attacking an electronic device to get it to work again.







Uninstalled:

Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a Vice President at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance."

SLIPPING AWAY

I said I wouldn't cry

The day you say goodbye

It's not like I'll never see you again

I guess the things you need

You just can't get from me

But you still can reach out to me now and then



My head is spinning round

All my defenses down

I have held the world in my hands

But I can't keep you from slipping away



If time will show me grace

And you to a better place

Then I can live knowing it wasn't in vain

It hurts so much to know

when love means letting go

And no one can tell me that they've felt my pain



No strength can stop you now

Will someone show me how

How to live it over again

cos I can't keep you from slipping away



I will never break your power over me

I could never shake the thought of you burning in my mind

You're all I see



I can't keep you from slipping away

MY STUPID MISTAKE

I've hurt someone's feelings. I really didn't mean it. I forget that no matter how close you are with someone, we still have to draw the line.









To this person, i'm really sorry for all my stupid jokes. I was only teasing you. Maybe i'm too much and hopefully i won't make you feel that way again in future.

BY

Absence is said to make the heart grow fonder, yet if my heart yearns anymore for the sight of you, I will explode. Insanity is a comforting friend, calming me at night and allowing me to face the day. The mighty structure is put on every morning so no one can glimpse the atrophy of my heart. I buried myself with work, surrounded myself with friends, filled my time with anything that can keep my mind away from you, but at the end of the day, when the city sleeps away, the reality returns. A fitful rest awaits me, met only with another dawn without you, another day without you, another night without you.





Somewhere, in this part of God's world, i know you are also sleeping. I cant help but wonder, do you dream of me often? Do you turn corners expecting to find me? Does your heart torn just like mine whenever you heard our songs? Do you miss those moments we shared every time you do any task that we used to do together? Can you find solace in looking up at the night sky, in the same manner that I do, wondering if I am thinking about you under the same night sky somewhere? Do you feel me peering over your shoulder, as I truly wish to do so? I can only hope that in this vast and uncertain world, two people feel that bond which unites them like no other, through the distance and time.

Fate brought us together. Fate separated us. If we are not meant for each other in this life, i'm contented to have you only in my dreams. If reincarnation really exist, perhaps, someday we will finally be together...maybe....

"...In another life

In another place

I'd have held you close

I'd have known your face

In another world

In another time

You'd be mine... "

A PRAYER FOR THE STRESSED

• Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

• Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

• Help me to always work at 100%
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  12% on Monday
  
  
  
  
  
  23% on Tuesday
  
  
  
  
  
  40% on Wednesday
  
  
  
  
  
  20% onThursday
  
  
  
  
  
  5% on Friday
  
  
  
  
  
  

• And help me to remember...
  
  
  
  When i'm having a bad day and it seemed that people are trying to wind me up :
  
  
  
  

1. It takes 42 muscles to frown
2. 28 muscles to smile and
3. only 4 to extend my arm and smack you in the mouth!!
   
   

SURVIVOR : Nine to Five Thirty

I can't understand why it's hard for them to make a firm decision on something. And it's harder for me to understand why they can't stick to the decision they made. They keep on changing their mind now and then. What is the use of having lots and lots of meeting when in the end they still can't make up their mind? Buang karen jek...

The ones who suffer will be us, the subordinates. Macam orang gile tried to make sure all the things they plan berjalan lancar. If they don't see the results fast they will say that we are not efficient. But how can we be efficient if asyik tukar plan je? Tak boleh ke kalau dah betul-betul confirm baru bagi order so we all tak payah la buat kerja 2,3 kali. It will save our time and we can focus on other tasks. Sapa sebenarnye yang tak efficient kat sini?

Today it's about the annual leave policy..i thought we already discussed and agreed that the new policy will be implemented immedately this year. In fact, he's the one who said it during our weekly meeting. Kesian kat Tina, asyik keje nak amend benda alah ni je. Bila nak siap je, ada je changes from Management side, terpaksa buat balik. Kalau minor changes takpe, ini tidak terpaksa start all over again..

Yesterday it's about the retirees. Last week they finally come into conclusion that date of retirement for all retirees should be based on their birth date instead of extending their service until end of the month. Aku rasa for them to decide on date of retirement je makan masa berminggu-minggu. Kejap kata ikut actual birth date, kejap kata bagi sampai akhir bulan. Keep on changing sampai aku pun pening. Letter content asyik bertukar-tukar and aku sampai pun tak tau nak jawab apa bila these retirees tanya aku pasal diaorg punye retirement date. Tambah tensen lagi..our first staff will retire on 15th Jan ni, dah tu semalam baru nak suruh aku jumpa this guy sedangkan draft surat ni awal bulan lepas aku dah bagi for approval.

Arahan untuk aku :





1. Brief and discuss dengan bos orang ni, Mr RB about this changes.

2. Aku & Mr RB kena meeting dgn org ni utk advise on dia punye retirement date n mintak dia abiskan cuti tahun starting from hari ni sampai la 14hb.

Pada aku this sort of things tak boleh bagi short notice macam gini. Macam kejam la gitu. Dah la before this kata boleh extend sampai akhir bulan pas tu tak bagi pulak. Sure org ni sedih. Maklumla dah berpuluh tahun keje, once you retire your life will never be the same again..maybe before you retire you'd like to spend more time with your colleagues and say goodbye to them properly. It's unfair kalau nak suruh dia terus amik cuti the next day just bcos company taknak bayar semua leave balance dia. Aku pulak mcm kesian kat org ni. Biasalah..kalau dengan sayur kita jadik berperikesayur-sayuran, kalau dengan kucing, kita berperikekucingan n of cos la kalau dengan manusia kita kena berperikemanusiaan. Masa aku jumpa dia semalam dia macam nak nangis jek. Nasib baik aku ni sedara mara gurun sahara, kering kontang takde air..kalau tak sure aku pun sedekah air mata aku sekali..

The thing yang buat aku tensen ni sebab boss-boss ni sesuka ati dia je tukar -tukar plan. Kalau tukar masa discussion or planning stage takpe, tapi selalunya dalam meeting decide benda lain tapi pas tu yang dibuat totally benda lain pulak. Yendava betul!!

Pening..pening..

THE BASKET CASE

Aku ketawa macam orang gile hari ni....

Hari ni aku buat arrangement untuk staff pi visit one Electrician yang accident. Selalunya kalau ada staff sakit or accident, wakil company akan datang visit & bawak la sikit buah tangan. So, aku pun call la satu driver ni, Abg Saleh, yang masa tu memang ada urusan kat luar & pesan kat dia beli buah-buah dalam bakul.

Nak dijadikan filem, lebih kurang after lunch abang Saleh ni pun balik. Aku nampak satu plastik besar atas meja dia & confident la semua yang aku order tu dah ready. So sebelum diaorang berangkat ke rumah this Electrician, Abg Saleh ni pun bagi kat aku resit benda yang aku pesan tadi. Aku pulak tak check terus ambik je resit tu. Maklumlah ari ni aku extra huru hara sikit kat opis so tak sempat nak scan resit tu betul-betul.

Pas tu aku dengar Tina kata "Aik, itu je ke? Yang lain mana?"

Abg Saleh : "Survivor suruh beli ni..saya pun beli yang ni jelah"

Korang tau ape benda yang Abg Saleh ni beli?? Ada ke dia pi beli bakul je. Sebijik buah pun tarak. Dah tu dia kata aku yang suruh dia beli bakul tapi tak mention suruh beli buah. Nak buat apa aku suruh dia beli bakul kalau takde buah? Takkan nak pi melawat this guy bawak bakul je..Tensen betul aku tadi.



Tapi bila aku pikir balik, salah pun mungkin salah aku jugak..masa call dia tadi aku suruh dia beli 'Fruit Basket'. Aku ingat dia paham yang aku nak dia beli buah-buah yang didecorate dalam bakul. Confident giler yang benda alah dalam plastik tu fruit basket..mana la nak tau dia pi beli basket je...Hampeh!!

Yang herannye bukan baru ari ni aku pesan Abg Saleh ni beli benda-benda gini, dah banyak kali tapi apsal tah hari ni dia blur..Monday blues la gaknye tu...

HAVE YOU EVER NEEDED SOMEONE SO BAD

Have you ever needed someone so bad

Have you ever wanted someone

You just couldn't have

Did you ever try so hard

That your world just fell apart

Have you ever needed someone so bad?!!









The thing I wanted most is something I can't have..I must be crazy to want something out of my reach..i don't know what will happen when the time i dread comes..i know i'll still be alive, i know i won't die but i'll live without anything left in my heart..

GYM oh GYM..

It's already 6.15pm tapi bayang sekor pun tak nampak lagi. Ginila diaorg ni kalau nak ajak gi gym. Jangan kata pegi gym, nak ajak pegi lunch pun macam nak ajak pegi tebang kayu. Liat betul nak tinggalkan meja & computer.







Ni janji nak pegi gym pukul 6.30, jangan harap la 6.30 semua dah ready. Kalau tak caya, tengokla.. pukul 7.30 baru nak tukar baju & kalau nasib baik, pukul 8 nanti baru terkedek-kedek nak kuar dari opis. Kalau nasib tak baik, pukul 8 baru gi changing room, then pukul 8.15 baru nak cari mineral water, n kalau nasib LAGI malang dah siap2 nak keluar opis ada je yang hilang.

Punye la payah nak kumpul sekor2..sorang datang, 2 hilang , nanti bila lagi 2 ni tiba yang sorang ni pulak ilang. Nak collect anak ayam lagi senang daripada nak collect budak2 ni...









Ish!..sabar..sabar...

THIS THING WE CALLED LOVE

Yesterday someone sent me this email and I think it is quite interesting. For those who think they are in love, maybe these will give you a clue....

R ur palm sweaty, is ur heart racing n is ur voice caught within ur chest??
It isn't love, it's LIKE

U can't keep ur eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
It isn't love, it's LUST

R u proud n eager 2 show them off??
It isn't love, it's LUCK

Do u want them because u know they r there??
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS

R u there because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it's LOYALTY

R u there because they kissed u or held ur hand??
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE

Do u stay 4 their confessions of love because u don't want 2 hurt them??
It isn't love, it's PITY

Do u belong 2 them because their sight makes ur heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION

Do u pardon their faults because u care about them??
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP

Do u tell them every day they r the only 1 u think of??
It isn't love, it's a LIE

R u willing 2 give all of ur favorite things 4 their sake??
It isn't love, It's CHARITY

Does ur heart ache and break whenever they r sad??
Then it's LOVE

Do u cry 4 their pain even when they r strong??
Then it's LOVE

Do their eyes see ur true heart n touch ur soul so deeply it hurts??
Then it's LOVE

Do u stay because of a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain n relation pull u close n hold u there??
Then it's LOVE

Do u accept their faults because they r a part of who they r??
Then it's LOVE

Would u give them ur heart, ur life n ur death??
Then it's LOVE

A Friend's Love says: " If you ever need anything, I'll be there."

A True Love says: "You'll never need anything, I'll be there."

- Jimi Hollemans -