Tuesday, January 17, 2006

FIRST FEW WEEKS...

Everybody would like the new year to be a fresh start, but somehow i feel my life is in a mess and it's only the third week of new year!

Something bothers me but I don't know what is it. It's like being everywhere in nowhereland. My thoughts scattered all over my mind and I wish I can pick each of it up and organize it in a folder so I can try to tackle the issue one by one.

I hate feeling this way! The only joy now is work. Biarlah banyak kerja ke, nak kena rush kejar deadline ke, kena buat keje yang aku tak tau satu benda pun takpe. I'd rather suffer with the workload pressure than to turtore my mind thinking about something which I don't have the answer.

The questions banging in my head still left unanswered. The only person who hold the answers choose not to say anything but expect me to understand instead. I'm tired of the guessing games, but in order to keep everything under control, i have to take it slow. Yes, it's torturing, feeling uncertain about something but can't do anything about it unless you get the other person's cooperation.

Until the other side is ready to talk, guess I have to put it away. No matter how much I hate when people tried to run away from solving the problem, I have to be patient. Maybe all we need is time. Hopefully when the time arrive, i will still be here..