MUSYKIL THOTS

Orang lain yang sakit, apsal aku pulak yang dapat symptom-symptom tu?

Musykil betul....

Chemistry?
or
Doa dulu masih dimakbulkan?

Yelah tu agaknye...

THAT MELANCHOLIC MOOD AGAIN

Kekasihku
Jangan bersedih lagi
Keringkanlah titisan air mata di pipimu
Kekasihku
Tabahkan hatimu
Sekalipun tak pernah terduga
Halangan yang melanda
Melenyapkan impian bersama

Jangan dikesali atas apa yang terjadi
Mungkin rahmat sebaliknya
Membuahkan bahagia

Kekasihku
Aku tahu
Kita sama saling percaya
Tidak pernah ada dusta
Kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka kekasihku
Jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah menerima
Segala-galanya dengan redha

Mungkin suatu hari
Kita akan bersama lagi
Aku masih mengharap
Segalanya kan berulang semula

Kekasihku aku tahu
Kita sama saling menyinta
Tidak pernah ada dusta
Kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka kekasihku
Jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah menerima
Segala-galanya dengan redha
(Jangan Bersedih Lagi - Anuar Zain)

Not too long ago, someone dedicated this song to me. Never heard of this song before and I never bother to listen to it. Somehow, i happened to accidentally listen to this song recently. It gave me a weird melancholic feelings, and listening to Anuar Zain singing it word by word is enough to make me feel the pain again.

There's so much truth in the lyrics and that's where the sadness came in knowing once, both of you completed each other's life; everything and every feelings you thought existed only in the songs and love stories do came true. It really sad isn't it? To have and then to lose something very dear to your heart. What makes the pain worst is the reality that you have to sacrifice your feelings in order to see those around you happy.

But i remembered the wiseman words 'It's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all'. True, at least at one point of my life i've found my soulmate, been truly in love and was loved in return. And living with the memories is just enough for me.

PANAS..KUSUT..PANAS..SERABUT..PANAS!!!

TRUMP TIAU BOS TIAU AKU

AKU?

TAKKAN NAK TIAU BUDAK-BUDAK DEPARTMENT AKU PLAK?

PANAS..KUSUT..PANAS..SERABUT..PANAS!

SALAH SIAPA?!!

Bukan diaorang gak ke yang decide nak buat gitu? Tukar lagi la sana sini sampai semua huru hara, then bila dah macam ni semua orang pening! Dah tu tak pasal-pasal aku pulak kena drag sekali.

Sabar aje laa. Angin Trump ari ni tak berapa elok. Rasanye bos kena tiau giler-giler la tu sebab tu dia tiau aku pulak. Sabar, Survivor..sabar...

CERITA MAKAN

Ari ni aku rasa aku makan 'over' dari ari biasa. Semuanya pasal tak sempat breakfast. Plan nak breakfast kat opis tapi busy punye pasal aku tak sedar yang time dah pun tengahari.

Bila pikir balik ntah hape-hape jek yang masuk dalam perut aku ari ni.

Before lunch Tina kasi 1 slice besar cheese cake. Ngerinye nak makan, tapi sebab orang dah susah payah kan..makan ajelah nanti kecik ati kang aku gak yang susah.

Hajat ati taknak lunch kononnya nak setelkan keje, tapi ari ni opis buat aku rasa macam nak koma . I need to be away from the opis at least for a while. So, aku join diaorang lunch kat Deli. And sememangnya diaorang tak penah fail buat aku kurang tension sebab aku puas dapat sakat sorang-sorang.

Nasi putih + Sayur goreng + Ikan cencaru masak sambal masuk dalam perut.

After lunch:
Kepala start ting tong. Efek Neslo kaw and cheese cake dah terasa.

Dengan malasnye aku pegi ke meeting tu. Kalau bukan pikirkan yang aku wakil company, memang aku rela dok diam diam kat opis setelkan keje-keje yang berlambak tu. Ramai gak yang tak datang, kalau aku tau aku pun takyah datang tadi. Tapi apa plak excuse nak bagi kat bos, memalukan company lak nanti. Bila dah pi meeting tu, aku start terpikir yang aku ni sebenarnye dah tadahkan kepala aku kat lubang pancung kepala. Tapi bila kenangkan target aku tahun ni nak meluaskan network HR, maybe benda ni berguna gak.

Kat meeting makan lagi:
Sometimes aku rasa part yang paling menarik time meeting ni ialah part makan. Especially kalau outside meeting. Ada sandwich and few jenis kuih. Abis je meeting, ada jamuan lagi. Makan makan dan makan. Kali ni meehoon seafood kuah. Ntah le aku pun tak tau ape nama dia, yang aku tau meehoon tu berkuah and penuh dengan seafood. Karipap pun ada. Eeiiyeaa..

Balik umah
Tak jadik join diaorang pi dinner cos ada benda aku nak kena setelkan. Kat umah aku boleh makan lagi. Kali ni tomyam ayam + 1 burger ayam special + 3 bijik limau mandarin + i jagung bakar disumbat dengan jayanya dalam perut aku.

Apela nak jadik dengan Survivor. Takkan tension makan sampai tak ingat dunia? Tak kiralah, yang aku tau this weekend aku kena exercise!

NEW MAG ON THE BLOCK

Malaysia's edition of Digital Camera Magazine (DCM) is in town!

With an affordable price of RM8.00, this 130 pages debut issue (Jan 2006) comes with a free tutorial CD. Cool!

As a newbie, I've been looking for informative and affordable digicam magazine, so far it's either too expensive, too little or too much advance information. All the imported magazines cost about RM20-40. With much lesser price, lots of photography tips and useful information on digital cameras, DCM is definately worth buying.

However, as noted by the editor, for the first few Malaysia edition issues, readers should expect most of the content to be taken from UK's DCM(70% UK and 30% local).

I think I saw the February issue already in the newsstand. Not gonna miss it either, perhaps i'm going to subscribe if the 2nd issue is equally good as the first one.

For me this magazine is for anyone interested to know more about photography techniques and digital cameras. It's worth more than the RM8.00 spent!

STRESS VS COFFEE

I think I've consumed too much coffee lately. No wonder there's this constant throbbing and pounding in my head.

Can we consider anyone who took 5-6 cups of coffee per day (depending on the size of the mug; 2-3 teaspoons of coffee powder + 3 sachets of coffeemate without sugar), overdosing?

I know coffee is not the only culprit. After analysing the causes and I've concluded that stress make me dependant on lots and lots of coffee and the caffeine overdose contributed to my constant headache.

Luckily I don't suffer from insomnia due to my excessive coffee intake, my mind was too tired to stay awake that I fall asleep immediately after my head landed on the pillow. Or else i'll need to double the caffeine dosage to combat whatever symptoms caused by my sleep deprivation.

Stress. Stress. Stress. There goes my healthy drinking habit. The 'Hantu Kopi' is back!

FIRST FEW WEEKS...

Everybody would like the new year to be a fresh start, but somehow i feel my life is in a mess and it's only the third week of new year!

Something bothers me but I don't know what is it. It's like being everywhere in nowhereland. My thoughts scattered all over my mind and I wish I can pick each of it up and organize it in a folder so I can try to tackle the issue one by one.

I hate feeling this way! The only joy now is work. Biarlah banyak kerja ke, nak kena rush kejar deadline ke, kena buat keje yang aku tak tau satu benda pun takpe. I'd rather suffer with the workload pressure than to turtore my mind thinking about something which I don't have the answer.

The questions banging in my head still left unanswered. The only person who hold the answers choose not to say anything but expect me to understand instead. I'm tired of the guessing games, but in order to keep everything under control, i have to take it slow. Yes, it's torturing, feeling uncertain about something but can't do anything about it unless you get the other person's cooperation.

Until the other side is ready to talk, guess I have to put it away. No matter how much I hate when people tried to run away from solving the problem, I have to be patient. Maybe all we need is time. Hopefully when the time arrive, i will still be here..

VINDICATED

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of which has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

I am vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated,
so motivatedI am certain now that

So turnup the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

SOMETHING ABOUT NOTHING

Kadang-kadang susah untuk kita paham orang and kadang-kadang susahnya cuba nak buat orang paham kita. What to do if two person keep misinterpreting each other?

When two people couldn't see eye to eye, does it really potray their incompatibility? Or does it mean that they are trying to reconcile their differences? Is it true that no matter how some people feel for each other but due to their background, perspective, personality and traits it just can't work out? How ego is too ego?

How to overcome the communication breakdown? How long do you need to finally understand each other needs? How far would you go to make sure it will work out?

:-?

WOOHOO!! IT'S NEW YEAR AGAIN!!

Sayonara 2005. Welcome 2006.


It's been a year since I started this blog (Ainie was the culprit). With the help of two other blog experts, Carn & Jen, i finally have my own blog. Initially I thought this blogging thing is so 'teenagers', but it was the fun of 'playing' with html text which i found very interesting that made me agreed to create one. But later on, i'm glad I started to blog because it has been a very helpful medium for me to pour out my feelings. Thank you Ainie for persuading me. Haha!! And thanks to Jen and Carn too (+ Junaidix) for spending your time helping and coaching me with the template.

2005 has been a mixed of wonderful and painful year for me.I've fought for something I believe in and finally I lost the battle. It was painful to let go of something I treasure most but it had taught me a lot. Sometimes, my strength can turn out to be my weakness. I tend to think too positive believing I can get anything I want if I really put my effort, but there are times where I failed to draw a line between something I can have and could never have. And I will keep on trying, telling myself there is always hope if I wait a little longer until the moment of defeat opened my eyes. Bagus kalau tak reti berputus asa, tapi jadik tak bagus kalau tak reti bahasa. hehe..

Work is always stressful; and dealing with people is never easy (especially with the top people) but i dont know why, i love my work, what I'm doing and it never fail to give me a sense of satisfaction. I'm lucky because all the stress at work were balance out by having the best office mates one could ever wish for. We work together, hang out together, back up each other, confide in each other and did almost everything together (ermm, ye ke? hehe). I've known them during the last quarter of 2004 and in 2005, our friendship grew closer. We have our good times and there were bitter moments which really tested this friendship. Fortunately everything went back to normal but not as normal as Carn was transfered to HQ. There were too many memorable moments to be forgotten. It won't be the same but what to do, life must goes on.

Hariz is the apple of my eyes, the love of my life. I fell in love with him the first moment I saw him in the nursing room. I guess his parents and my parents feel the same too. He is the friendliest baby I've ever known; always active, love to laugh and offer his smile to everybody no matter how tired he was. Adik got a job in Malacca and tinggal la kami bertiga kat umah tu. I started to look forward to Hariz's return once a month. I'll cancel every plan just to be with him. He's the best gift 2005 has given me.


I never had any new year resolutions. For as long as I can remembered, when people asked me about my new year resolution, my answer will always be the same 'I wanna do what I should do'. A safe one. But I have my own plans for 2006. Nak kata azam bukan azam nak kata target pun bukan. It's my wish, my programs for 2006:

1. Upgrade my HR & IR knowledge
--> Attend IR Certificate course
--> Get Diploma in IR
--> Read more HR / IR related books and journal


2. To be well versed in Labour and IR Law


3. Widen my HR network


4. Try to go to bed before 11.30pm (at least 5 days a week)


5. Wake up one hour earlier (any tips guys?)


6. Taknak malas pegi gym / exercise


7. Maintain healthy eating habit


8. Buy an Mp3 player


9. Buy a bigger size SD Card for my PDA


10. Earn more (Carik keje lain?)


11. Save more (Kurangkan outing?)


12. Bawak parents gi trip


13. Holiday getaway with the gals (hopefully no more last minute cancellation, guys..)


14. Appreciate those around me more..


15. Kawen?! (Muehehe..saje buat lawak senario..kuii..kuii..kuii *gelak sambil berguling-guling*)

For 2006, I'm expecting the usual mixture of bitter and sweet events. Of course la takkan semua nak best jek. Mesti ada yang tak best kan. But then, I'm hoping that the good ones will outnumbered the bad ones.

Welcome 2006. Sayonara 2005. Happy New Year Everyone!!!