Thursday, June 29, 2006

STARING AT THE SUN - ROOSTER

Daylight on my shoulder
Makes me feel alive
You kept me standing in your shadow
And it's a cold cold place to hide
I'm running away from this messed up place
I'm breaking free

I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you burn my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light
coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun

I know you won't let me
But just turn and walk away
I'm tired of when you kick me around
Trying to kill my dreams and break me down
But I won't hang around
I'm running away from this messed up place
I'm breaking free

I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you burn my eyes
so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light
coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun

Daylight on my shoulder
I know its time to run
Yes I know its time to run

I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you burn my eyes
so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light
coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
staring at the sun
You took everything while I was staring at the sun

Lagu kumpulan 'Rooster' ni one of favorite aku, best gak kalau layan. Lagu baru (produced thn 2004 ke 2005..tak ingat) tapi lebih kurang macam lagu rock ballad zaman-zaman sekolah dulu. Best layan sebab macam kena dengan apa yang ade dalam kapla otak aku sekarang ni.

Monday, June 26, 2006

THE CLASS

Officially I was 30 minutes late for my first class. Thanks to Switzerland vs Korea match early that morning I wish I could continue sleeping till noon. (hehe..buruk perangai..it's all FIFA's fault) Luckily, I didn't miss much, the lecturer, Ms Tiffany was explaining the course structure and exam format when I arrived.

There were only six of us. (you were wrong ainie, takde pun orang yang 'BEST' kat situ). At first glance I thought we are about the same age, but later I found out that they much more older than me and i'm the second youngest in class. (Rasa la mcm muda sikit :D ). Most of them are HR managers n senior executives, a good start for me to add them in my networking list. Class was fun, the first few topics were a bit difficult as we were 'forced' to memorize the philosophical part of Human Resource.

The best part (or should I say worst?) is the FOODS! There were lots and lots of foods. They serve 3 types of kuihs for morning and noon tea breaks, and for lunch we have kari ayam, ikan masak sambal, sotong masak kunyit, bergedil, telur goreng, daging masak kicap and two types of vege dishes. (tak sure ape nama dia) Sounds normal la kan tapi memandangkan it's only 7 of us, and they were like preparing for 20 pax, just imagine how many kuih or lauk u can take. Sepanjang umur attend training, this is the first time participant tak ramai, tapi makanan banyak giler. Entah brp banyak aku makan pun aku tak tau.

All of us get along very well walaupun baru kenal. I'm a bit surprised because all of them seem to remember my name and where i'm from. Maybe i'm the only participant from non-manufacturing industry. I keep forgetting their names and mistaking their company with the other. Most probably my mind was occupied with something else during the introductory session.

Saturday session went on well. Everyone happily went home eventhough all of us are asked to be prepared for a quiz the next day. That nite try gak nak revise tapi apa yang aku baca tak masuk otak langsung, macam mana nak ingat, bukak buku tapi mata dok tengok Germany vs Sweden match. Nasib baik the next day aku org 1st yg sampai sempat le revise sikit. Class was fun and luckily soalan takdelah susah mana pun (ceh! Riak..hehe). It was worth sacrificing my precious weekend for the knowledge i gain from this class.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

THE END OF MY FREEDOM

They approved my application. With a condition. I have to be bonded for two years. For a 6 months certificate course which costs less than 5K I have to sign a two years bond agreement?!

Usop kata:
We want to train you
We dont want you to go

We'll bear the cost for you to get your certificate but you have to be fair to the company.

Don't worry, 2 years is short. By the time you complete this course it's already 6 months, before you know it it's already 2 years.

This not the only course we'll send you, after this we'll send you for more advanced courses.
I don't know why, but for each & every words he told me my mind interpreted its meaning differently.

"We want to train you and we don’t want you to go"
We still want to use you, if you resign who are going to be our slave?

"Let's be fair to the company, we'll pay for the cost and you'll have to sign a bond agreement"
For an investment less than 5K, we'll be able to use her and squeeze every sweat out of her for two years! Muahaha!

"2 years is not that long, after you finish this program, we'll send you for other related courses"
If we send her for other courses, she'll have to sign another bond..and she'll continue to be our slave! If we don't, she can't do anything, even if we didn't give her any annual increment she can't do anything, she's ours for two years!!

Actually, I have no intention to leave yet. I haven't updated my resume (eventhough Nasir's offer seem appealing). I haven't seriously browsing the net or newspaper looking for any related posts available. Not at the moment. But knowing that i'll stuck in this company for another 2 years really make me uneasy. The fact is, I've lost faith in this company. I want the course but I don't want to be tied down this long.

After lots and lots of thinking, i've decided to give it a go. I'll still attend this program as the cert will be very valuable. They still haven't give me the agreement to sign (bagus! hopefully diaorang terlupa..hehe) and in case i've decided to leave this company before my agreement period ended, i'll pay back whatever they have paid to the institute.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

SURVIVOR'S MRI STORY

First time buat benda alah ni. Takut, cuak, ngeri, seram sume ada. Ape taknye tangan kena ikat, badan kena ikat aka bedung dengan padding tebal, kena selimut dengan kain sampai ke leher. Dah tu ditinggalkan sorang-sorang.

Bila mesin tu mula bergerak, separuh badan dah masuk dalam terowong, kepala mula la terpikir bukan-bukan, kalau jadik ape2; kena karen ke, camne la aku nak lari.

Tak sangka aku kena buat MRI. Dulu selalu dengar cite bos pasal buat MRI ni, tak alih-alih aku pun sama. Lepas X-ray result ari tu tak memuaskan ati aku and doktor, dia rekeman aku undergo MRI ni plak sebab dia suspek 'Slip Disc'. MRI ni shortform untuk Magnetic Resonance Imaging. Purpose buat benda alah ni untuk produce detailed and clear images of soft tissues in patient's body. So dengan senanglah Encik Doktor tadi nak diagnose ape sebenarnya masalah pesakit.

Lepas projek makeover bilik, aku selalu sakit badan especially bahagian belakang and pinggang. Memula ingatkan sakit badan biasa so aku buat bodoh je dengan harapan boleh baik sendiri. Bila takde perubahan baru la sibuk nak pi klinik, tu pun lepas kena paksa. Sebenarnye aku pun tak perasan yang aku patutnye kena rehatkan badan dulu tak terpikir langsung nak ikut advice doktor soh rest. Lagipun, kalau dah kat opis tu, nak rest amendenya. Lagi-lagi time macam sekarang ni. Kebetulan pulak memang we all tengah busy organize inter agencies tournament, siap nak participate lagi, itu yang gasak training tak ingat dunia dah tu siap mengangkat and mengangkut segala hadiah and barang2 untuk preparation event. Jadiknye, lepas tu memang padanla dengan muka aku, klimaksnya masa badan bengkak & takleh nak bend langsung, dah sakit giler masa tu baru nak risau.

Dah segala macam ubat yang klinik bagi aku makan, 2,3 kali gak aku ulang treatment kat klinik yang sama siap kena inject lagi tapi still macam tu gak. Bila kena refer kat sini, kena buat urine test la, blood test la, physio test la sume tu aku still relax jer. Tapi bila dah tukar baju spital, tengok nurse (actually diaorang ni bukannye nurse, tapi radiologist. Bukan sembarang orang boleh conduct benda ni) dok prepare benda2 yang nak diguna, ngeri la plak. Nasib baik ke'friendly'an dia dapat le mengurangkan kenervousan aku. Aku ingat lagi , masa aku dah baring kat atas tu n Cik Radiologist tengah dok ikat tangan aku, aku keep on tanye dia 'ada side effect ke tak buat benda ni", 'sakit ke tak nanti'...jawapan dia melegakan aku, dia kata tak sakit tapi badan aku akan rasa sakit sikit sebab test ni akan makan masa sejam and dia advise aku jangan bergerak-gerak sebab takut effect test result. Mak ai, bayangkan le sejam terbaring dalam confined space, dengan kena ikatnye, dah tu tak leh gerak-gerak. Aduss!

Lepas setel proses ikat mengikat, Cik Radiologist tadi pun keluar pi bilik sebelah. Sebelah bilik MRI ni ada satu bilik lagi dengan satu tingkap kaca yang besar. From this room la the radiologist controls the equipment yang diguna untuk scan badan patient and from this large glass view the patient inside the MRI machine. In fact, diaorang boleh communicate dengan patient through interkom. Tapi patient tak leh nak respond la cos dah kena ikat.

Bila pikir positif, bole la aku spend time ni untuk tido. Tak pun boleh gak aku berpikir n sort benda-benda dalam otak ni satu-satu. Tapi macam mana nak tido or nak pikir, sepanjang test tu ada la bunyi-bunyi pelik. Aku rasa mungkin bunyi mesin dia tengah scan badan aku la kot. Dalam pada tu, terpikir gak macamana agaknye nasib aku kalau tetiba mesin ni meletup ke, ada teknikal problem sampai jatuh timpa aku or terhimpit aku ke, mau arwah kat dalam ni.

Lepas 1/2 jam tetiba bunyi bising tadi stop. Aku dengar bunyi pintu and bunyi kasut Cik Radiologist, hati dah hepi gile ingatkan dah abis seksa aku. Macam tau & tak payah ditanye, Cik Radiologist tu bagitau sendiri "Belum abis lagi, nak scan bahagian atas pulak. Tapi kali ni ada tak selesa sikit lah". Memang giler bapak punye tak selesa. Apa taknye, kali ni aku kena 'bedung' dari bahagian perut sampai ke dagu. siksa betul nak tunggu lagi 1/2 jam.

Akhirnya masa yang aku tunggu pun tiba. Bunyi bising dah berenti, tapi tak dengar plak bunyi pintu or bunyi kasut Cik Radiologist mcm tadi. Penat aku tunggu, badan naik penat kena bedung ni. tetiba from interkom dia kata "Sekejap Survivor, rehatkan badan 10minit." Ahlamak....10minit lagi ke? Kalau ye pun nak soh aku rehatkan badan, bukak le dulu bedungan aku ni. Macam mana badan nak rehat dlm condition mcm ni. Lepas 10minit, aku dengar interkom lagi, ingat berita penderaan aku nak abis tapi ..."Sekejap Survivor, rehatkan badan 10minit". Aduss tensen betul...dah dua kali 10minit. Finally bila keluar, badan aku makin sakit, kepala plak macam kuar bintang but I'm glad it's over...

Part paling best bila time kat cashier counter, total expenses untuk segala test, ubat and consultation nearly RM2000. MRI test tu jek diaorang charge RM1200. Nasib baik company bayar, kalau duit sendiri mau menangis hantuk kepala depan cashier...

Yang paling buat aku terharu - mama and ayah. Seari suntuk kat hospital dari pagi sampai ke petang, lepas satu test ke satu test, sikit pun takde komplen kena tunggu lama. Selalunye kalau kena tunggu aku lama sikit je diaorang dah bising, tapi ari ni tak pulak. Suruh balik ke pi memana dulu sementara aku kat sini diaorang taknak pulak. Dahle the next day nak kena datang lagi untuk test result. Sayang jugak diaorang kat anak dia yang keras kepala ni. haha!

So kesimpulan dari result sumer2 test ni, aku kena rehat giler and dimakruhkan dari main bowling, mengangkat benda-benda berat e.g mengangkut air dari perigi atau pikul kayu api, buat aktiviti-aktiviti lasak macam wrestling, memburu atau pi berperang. Doktor kata mungkin memula muscle spasm, then bila belum baik betul aku dah melasakkan badan, tu yang jadi lagi teruk. Alhamdullilah.. lega sikit. Walaupun aku nampak relax tapi actuallynye aku risau gak. Mana la tau kalau betul slip disc. Buatnye paralysed seumur idup..ish! Nauzubillah! Mintak dijauhkan..

Hopefully by the time for follow up in August nanti, condition aku dah ok le. Kalau tak confirm kena masuk hospital and buat physiotherapy. Actually dari memula pegi ari tu Encik Doktor nak soh aku dok hospital, tapi memikirkan keadaan kat opis, tak tersampai ati la plak nak biarkan. Takut 'ter'lama bermastautin kat sana. Kesian pulak kat Pn. Shila, takkan aku nak lepas tangan. Anyway, korang doakan la eh....

Friday, June 2, 2006

MEETING OH MEETING!

Bosan giler nak kena masuk meeting yang satu ni..confirm berjam-jam. kalau kejap takpe, buang masa betul! Bos lak mengelat, patutnye dia yang kena masuk tapi disebabkan last meeting dia MC so tak pasal2 aku lak kena tarik masuk meeting tu. Ari ni bila aku inform dia yang dia kena attend balik, dia kata tengoklah dulu pastu dia sengih. Setan betul! Dah sah-sah banyak isu dalam meeting ni dia je yang boleh jawab. Seperti yang aku agak, memang dia taknak masuk punye. Dia sms aku masa lunch hour bagitau yang dia MC. Ada ka patut..cis!